Yellow Lights

I love music, as I’m sure anyone else does too. I’m sure we all have our own thoughts, feelings and reasons towards the subject. For this post, which I’ve been formulating in my mind for a good week now, I want to discuss exactly what music means to me. As for anyone, or most civilized people, music is what we often turn to, whether it’s for comfort, a distraction, or expression. This certainly includes me. 

Anyone that knows me knows I love to drive. Rather than opening a cold one or taking a step outside every so often, I get behind the wheel to relax and set myself straight. My driver seat is my place of comfort. No one is around to judge or complain about my occasionally questionable singing or somewhat lazy driving. It’s my favorite place to sing along to a great tune or to cry and totally lose my shit in. It’s where I go to set my heart and thoughts straight. I’ve made major life decisions while cruising down some old back road. My inspiration thrives to a good tune and fun driving. Personally, it’s where my biggest dreams stay alive. 

My car, specifically, is where most of my enjoyment comes from. I used to love driving my truck as well, but then I crashed it and almost died, so I’m not going to go there. What I love about my car, however, is the ride you get out of it. Cars like mine are known to offer a great cruising experience or according to an article I once read,”These cars are not for everyone. They were made for the driving enthusiast.” Like, wow that is so me. My little car, despite creeping up to 200,000 miles, still has the same responsiveness as when I first bought it, over 60,000 miles ago. It is an automatic with the option of sport mode. I love being interactive with my vehicle, it just makes it more fun. I love to hear the slight purr of my engine every once in a while as I’m shifting up to speed. I love the tightened steering and smoothness of riding low to the ground that allows me to zip up and around curves and corners. Frankly, I could keep going but I’m sure you get the picture. 

My life without music would be just short of emotionless. Would meaningless be too dramatic? I mean of course I have friends and family to think about, but this is one of the few things in my darker days that keeps me moving forward. When I want to remember something, I like to be playing a certain song. It’s like the certain smell or taste of a certain food that brings you back. Such as sucking the last bit of juice out of a melting popsicle during 4th of July fireworks or that one time you felt like you almost died at a party from drinking too much Fireball. Catch my drift? It’s that same thing for me. 

When “The Monster” by Eminem and Rihanna or “Counting Stars” by OneRepublic comes on the radio, I attempt my best at turning the station before flashbacks of my dad’s smashed up face pop up. I can’t help thinking about the night I was first dumped (and utterly heartbroken) when “Lights Down Low” by Maxx hits my playlist. There are good memories to songs as well too. When I play my all time favorite song, “The Crow and The Butterfly” by Shinedown, I usually think of the first time I heard it. I was just discovering Shinedown (after hearing only a few of their songs during my childhood) when I came across the music video on Youtube. I was curious about it, and I swear to you, I teared up just from how beautiful that song was. To this day, years later, it is one of the few songs that can bring goosebumps to my arms and chills down my spine. It’s partially why I had this song tattooed up and down my entire left arm. So yes, and seriously, I love this song and it makes me very happy.

Now you’re maybe wondering where the name of this post came from. All is about to add up. It was one night, about a week ago, when I was on my way home. I was just leaving the house of my new love interest in Eau Claire. After recently being at the lowest point of my life, this very person shed some much needed light onto me. With that, things couldn’t have gone better and while heading home, I was obviously in a good mood but that is not the entire point of this post. I was listening to a song that somehow just kept giving me an earworm that day. It had a good and positive feel to it, so that is what was playing when I found myself eastbound on North Crossing. Right at the chorus, and ultimately the most powerful part of the song, was when I just started to cross the bridge over the Chippewa River. It was late so the road was vacant and the bright moon was shining down onto the pitch black water, giving it the image of gray and calm waves. There was a peacefulness in the quiet of the night. Beautiful. Looking ahead, the road had a golden glow, where the old fashioned street lamps would emit illumination from above. The stillness and beauty of the sleeping city left me feeling like I was in a movie. It really was just me, my lovely little car, the music, and the yellow lights. Nothing else in the world mattered at that moment in time. That is what made it so special. That combination of simplicities had the unspoken power to temporarily melt my worries away. I hadn’t felt that.. Alive.. in so long. I was so happy to be human in that moment in time. 

Whenever I hear the song “Somebody” by Chainsmokers and Drew Love, I love to think about the yellow lights. I’m put back into that heartwarming moment, and I’d smile.